All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
ter·rif·ic (adj.):
a word used to make terrifying things sound wonderful instead.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
stun·ning (adj.):
an adjective used to stun any ability for rational logic or critical thinking out of people.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
in·cred·i·ble (adj.):
difficult to believe that it’s true, because it isn’t.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
re·al es·tate a·gent, re·al·tor (n.):
someone you pay to help sell your house at an inflated price, only to realize that you’ll have to pay them again to buy another house that you can no longer afford.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
pow·er·point (n.):
1. the most powerful sedative known to humanity;
2. the most powerful narcotic (2,4,6-trinitroboring) in the known universe.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
But wait… there’s more! (phr.):
No… there isn’t.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
flip·pant (adj. & v.):
to invert a species from the family Formicidae.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
i·ro·ny (n.):
an object that rusts easily.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
gam·bler (n.):
a person who knows that the odds are stacked against them, but still thinks that they’re going to win.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
fi·nan·cial in·sti·tu·tion (n.):
a middle-class casino.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
in·vest·ment ad·vis·er (n.):
a professional gambler.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
bank·er (n.):
a professional gambler.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
bu·reau·crat (n.):
a professional (but essential) killjoy.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
ra·tio·nal·i·za·tion (n.):
1. the reasoning that you’re currently thinking up to justify the unnecessary purchase of this product;
2. the reasoning that you’re currently thinking up to justify the unnecessary purchase of this shirt.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
re·al life, re·al·i·ty (n.):
an antiquated system no longer supported by many companies in Silicon Valley.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
ar·ti·fi·cial in·tel·li·gence (n.):
SEE artificial stupidity.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
pho·to·graph (n.):
1. an unspoiled selfie;
2. an accidental selfie taken with a phone pointing the wrong way round;
3. a selfie taken by an old person holding their phone the wrong way around.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
oth·er·ie (n.):
an accidental selfie taken with the camera pointing the wrong way round.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
self·ie (n.):
1. a blemish on an otherwise-decent photograph;
2. taking a photograph of yourself facing away from the thing that you’re actually meant to be looking at.
All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
com·men·ta·tor (n.):
someone whose brain and mouth operate independently of one another.
